I now pronounce you Husband and Ramen

I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry for this. But this plot bunny came out of nowhere. This is going to be more like a drabble. And it’s probably going to be really bad. So once again, I apologize for what’s about to happen. There are abridged series references in here, and this is possibly the worst story I’ve ever written.

Title: I Now Pronounce You Husband and Ramen

Rating: K

This is a drabble, so I think no summary is needed. Enjoy.

Pairing: Jack Atlas x a cup of ramen.

Dedication: To Sierrah-kun. Love you.


Jack Atlas was sitting in his room, alone. It was night time, he was bored, and needed something to do. He decided to go visit Yusei, who lived across the street from him. But before he did that, Jack decided to get something to eat. Jack went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of his favorite ramen, the Red Demon’s Noodle.

“Should I cook this now, or should I wait until I go to YUUUUUUUUUUSEEEEEEEEEI’S?” Jack asked himself.

An idea struck him. He smirked to himself as he grabbed a old wedding ring he found in his drawer. He had no idea why a wedding ring in his drawer, but he didn’t care. In a few hours, the sun was going to rise and in that time, he was hopefully going to be a married, and widowed man.

Jack decided that before he went to see Yusei, he would go and get married to the cup ramen. Now to many, it wouldn’t make sense; but to Jack Atlas, it did. Jack was in love with his ramen, and no one was going to take it away from him. Jack got on his motorcycle and drove off to the nearest wedding chapel. When he got there, he went straight towards the pastor.

“Hi there. May I help you?” The pastor asked.

“Yes. I wish to get married to this cup ramen.” Jack said. The pastor looked at Jack like he was crazy. “Sir, you cannot get married to that ramen. It is unethical.”

“You obviously don’t know who I am. My name is Jack Atlas, and I am in love with this ramen. If I want to marry this ramen, then so be it. I want to marry it, and I want to marry it NOW!”

“Very well, Mr. Atlas.”

Shortened Vows(Come on. This is ramen we’re talking about here, folks.)

“Jack. Do you take this ramen to be your bride?” The pastor asked.

“I do.” Jack said. The pastor would have asked the ramen if it wanted Jack to be its husband, but then realized that RAMEN COULDN’T TALK! So, instead the pastor went on to something else.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Congrats.” Jack signs the legal documents, stating he is married, pays the pastor and leaves the chapel. He drove over to Yusei’s house.


Yusei came outside of his house, obviously angry.

“What is it, Jack?” Yusei asked.

“I’m married! To this cup ramen!” Jack happily said.

Yusei facepalmed. “YOU’RE WHAT?” Yusei yelled. “I SAID I’M MARRIED TO A CUP RAMEN!” Yusei dragged Jack inside the house and pushed him onto his couch.



“There’s something you need to know.”


“Why are you married to a cup of ramen Jack?”

“Why is it any of your concern?”

“Because. Oh never mind.” Yusei took Jack’s “bride” and threw it across the room. He then took a sledgehammer and then smashed the ramen. Jack cried.

“Why did you do that?”

“Jack, you have more at your house.”



Once again, I am so sorry for this. So so sorry.


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